98% of divorces are caused by Mario PartyÂ
yes your honor, this marriage can no longer work out after the trauma I suffered from my wife stealing not one, but TWO of my stars
(via itsnoodlebitches)
summer is real cute until every fuckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell
(via homo-jalapeno)
Tumblr app: I'm done loading
Me: but what about all these blank pictures and gifs
Tumblr app: did I fucking stutter
Me: but what about all these blank pictures and gifs
Tumblr app: did I fucking stutter
DAILY REMINDER THAT IT’S OKAY TO HATE THE PEOPLE WHO’VE TREATED YOU BADLY AND IT DOESN’T MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON
(via keepdreaming-gorgeous)
LITERALLY THIS JUST HAPPENED I'M SCREAMING
ME: *SINGING LOUDLY* YO I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I WANT WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT
UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOR: SO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WANT SO I CAN GO TO SLEEP
This happened to us once:
My roommate: WHAT ARE THEY SELLIN'?!
Me: CHOCOLATE!
My roommate: WHAT?!
Me: CHOCOLATE!!!
My roommate: WHAT?!!!
Person in the next room: CHOCOLAAATTTTTEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
how are we almost in june i swear we were in march 2 days ago
(via beebleebumdumb)
coming out to your parents by saying swiggity swag guess whos a fag
(via laters-baaaby)
why is six afraid of seven?
because seven is a registered six offender
i am legit in tears over this joke
(via fake-mermaid)
me: i'm just going to rest my eyes for 5 minutes.
me: wakes up march 27th, 2098.
me: wakes up march 27th, 2098.
